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    Monday, November 22, 2004

    What Am I Doing? 

    Debbie DownerMy latest couple months of posts have been decidedly impersonal. I've been dealing with various topics as they come up, but this post is going to be a general update about my deep inner life. Very deep.

  • I'm actually pretty upset about the election. Not only am I saddened by John Kerry's loss, but also by the gains made by conservative Republicans in the House and Senate, and all across the country. It genuinely makes me fear for my country. I try not to be alarmist, however. Thus, I've been spending a lot of my free time reading history and political science books. I've read The Right Nation, by Thomas Frank, to try to get an understanding of the conservative movement, and its place in history. I've also been reading How Democratic is the American Constitution?, by Robert Dahl as a prelude to a further examination of the roots of American-style democracy. Its purely political science stuff.

  • I'm not sleeping well. First of all, I have a 4+ month old baby, and he isn't consistently sleeping through the night. Let me tell you, there are a hundred books on babies and sleep. And damnit if they don't contradict each other all over the place. One book says that night feedings are good. Another book says bad. One book says don't pick up your crying baby right away. Another book says pick them up immediately. And all of the supporting evidence for the various claims have merit. The problem is that these books are written for "all" babies, and I have a particular baby. So its all very confusing. And of course, our doctor has additional opinions, and so on...

    The other sleep problem I have is that I may have sleep apnea. I have to get a sleep test in a couple weeks to find out. Basically, I'm exhausted constantly, and sleepy, and fatigued, and ready to go to bed after roughly 10 hours of wake (sometimes there was a nap in there too).

  • My health is declining. My total cholesterol is 232. My HDL is 37 and my LDL is 168. My triglycerides are 136. Its not good. Then I had another test called a CRP test which is something of a predictor of heart problems. Apparently, a score between 3.1 and 10.0 is bad. I have 4.2. And I'm still overweight by at least 30 lbs.

  • My computer at home went down. Its been in the shop for two weeks now. The hard drive went bad. At least I had a back up.

  • Aside from all the downer stuff here, I'm not feeling too bad. And my little baby is a real joy. He's the cutest little guy, and he's really starting to become more engaged and involved in the world which is a real experience to witness.

  • Aside from this blog, I haven't done anything creative in a long time. Honestly, I'm not so sure this blog is actually all that creative. There is something unseemly about "blogs". I actively resisted creating a blog for over a year or so after reading John Dvorak's first article on blogs in February 2002. Aside from revealing the incredible history of the word "blog", he made the whole thing seem very average and pointless. Re-reading the article, it still seems dead-on. He has a follow up article on blogs which also hits the mark quite nicely. Well, I've had this blog for 15 months now. Overall, I still think blogs are okay.


    // posted by Ant In A Hailstorm @ 11/22/2004 01:59:00 PM

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